Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Hogwashin' dem Hecklers

Ol' Sam Clemens scribed 'bout hecklers, but I kin find no evi-dunce he had a one.

How-evah, in dis measure, whoms 'mongst us cud be all-n-all heckle free?

See-nonymous wi'da hecklin is da diss-e-dent, de agi-tater, an der milly-tent.

But dat ain't no matter. 

Dem dare gud hecklers kin provoke da comin' audience inta rapt atten-shun,
whilst da bad heckler allows his pride ta turn de 
odd-ee-nce agin' him.

I a'reckon der ain't no othern way than jes 'spect if y'all be in a speakin way dat sum tarnation fired up uppity varmits gwonna try'n take ya down a notch.

Now da good publican verbologist dast nod ignore dat heckler.
Dey will soon de-scover dair growing incredi-billity to de heckler's de-splay.

Shoutin down der heckler only givest dem da powder for dair blazing gums.

Engaging wit de audience agin a heckler might jes nigh turn into a lynchin' of ewe or da hem.

One of ta bettern ways fir all y'all to go cattywampus on a heckler wannabe, is jes git real quiet like and lookee him straight in de aye-ball.

Soon'r din you'n cun say lickety split, der heckler will be a rockin back on his'n heels, takin der ornery right outta 'em.

Dow'n evah let de odd-ee-nce see y'all takin a grin at the hecker's cum-up-ance.
Dey be sure fired to turn on ya and show dat tar and dem feather where dey be-long.